This isn’t easy for me to admit, but I think I’m depressed. I’m sleeping most of the day away, and I’m not motivated to do much of anything. MC suggested that I leave for a walk each day after DD gets to school. I think it’s a good idea. Today I slept off and on almost all day until DD got home from school. I don’t like to do that. It’s a total waste of time, and of my life. I went to the grocery store with MC a couple of days ago, and I was looking at expiration dates, thinking things with a date of 11/01/09 were expired. I actually thought it was 2009! I’ve been inside, with my own thoughts, I’ve actually bored myself into thinking it’s a whole different year!
MC says that if I would just get outside, I would feel better. He’s a wise man. As it is, I’m staying indoors all day, and boring myself half to death. I make lists of things to accomplish, and don’t do them. I’ve even started looking for jobs – which is unnecessary and unproductive. I have a job, and one that I can do at home, at that! I just have to figure out how to motivate myself to actually do it.
Honestly, I think my life is just too good to keep my interest. Life has always been sort of difficult, but this year, it became very simple. DD is managing her own schedule and transportation to school. Our rent is lower, MC got a raise, we have enough money to cover our bills, we have good health insurance, and MC and I are back on track, in our love life. Nothing to complain about. Nothing to get too excited about.
I’m not doing awesome on my diet goals. But, tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully I can get away to take a walk. I’m still up a pound from last official weigh in. I have until Thursday morning to bring it down. I haven’t really eaten that poorly – but my portions are sort of out whack. I think I ate 3 cups of raisin bran today.
To be tied…
Playtime and/or punishment (hoping for less of the later and more of the former) is still scheduled for this Friday. MC and I are going to try to attend a couple of munches this month, to connect with others with kinky interests. We might be able to fit a play party in, in January. December is just too full of holidays and chaos.